An Example of Malevolent Benevolence

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Today I decided to write a song from the perspective of Mr. Inverdale. Due to time restraints I left out the verse where he sticks it to his Chinese aide.

Kelis is Back on the Day Job

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What happened to the table tennis? Since when did you need 4 games to win a match? Is this the unexpected direction the global economy has taken? And why are there 5 people aside in volleyball all of a sudden? A new feature of the red button? Why did they choose the red button for interaction anyway? Surely it's a bad idea to have a civilization habitually press a red button when the same colour button is attached to nuclear weapons? Do nuclear launch stations have green, blue and yellow buttons too? Maybe a rudimentary version of tetris on the system to keep spirits up? The Soviet soundtrack to the game must have had some confusing repercussions. It would make a pleasant, if anachronistic restoration comedy.

Sick in the Head

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I have not yet recovered from the last post's bout of grammatical ineptitude. Please thank your deity of choice that the Olympics is on. It's like watching two colours of paint on a wall and betting which will dry first; the red, the yellow, or all the excrement certain Western journalists have been throwing.
This is a 'tidbit'
n.

A choice morsel, as of gossip or food: “The book is chock-full of colorful tidbits about theater and theater people” (Alec Guinness).

[Perhaps obsolete and dialectal tid, tender.]

Life with a Military Wife

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So many things I love and use on a daily basis elude my full comprehension. I once sold some old underwear on eBay and was legally obliged to list urine as a constituent part. And those were from my confident days!

The same is true of Brazilian music. It is in fact 'the shit'. Today's song is my first attempt to understand the music behind the man behind the music. It involved a lot of neck craning.

Apologies to any fans of Chico Buarque, who's Cotidiano I have regurgitated skeletal and uploaded with callous indifference.

A Zombie is Not a Trophy

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I once heard a man sing the lyric 'Just because I'm horny/ doesn't mean I'm a whore'. By the end of the song he had concluded that he was in fact a rainbow all along. It was a twist that caught everyone by surprise.

With that in mind today's Anita harmony takes a minor flavour.

Week One: The'Anita Harmony'

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365 songs a year? This will be a structure-less mess! To quell these anxieties I will be grouping songs by week; seven songs all with a similar idea, theme, or odor.

Into yesterday's song I shoe-horned a variation of the 'Anita Harmony'. Such is my affection I'd like to use it more! Thus it will be this week's GRAND UNIFYING PROPERTY.

Now what I call the 'Anita Harmony' comes from an old Newman song Anita that prefaces Harry Nilsson's 'Nilsson Sings Newman' album (or rather, prefaces the album opener Vine St). You can listen to it here. The harmony at the chorus establishes the slightly unusual I-II-IV chord sequence, which yesterday I ignored in a fit of youthfulness. But now I am older, and have developed a Chinese-styled respect for my elders.

Today's song goes right back to my Gregorian roots (we found out the hard way that Plainsong doesn't work on the live circuit). The first half is monophonic, but then a choir turns up and things get wild(er).

As a tribute to Nilsson the lyrics come from another (Danni Minogue-approved) song of his. See if you can get it before it's obvious. Or before you click on that Minogue link. Don't, whatever you do, click on that link.

My best laid plans

Inspired by my friend Simon Reid's attempt to start everyday with a cartoon, I have decided to start everyday by de-smelling myself ('showering' if you live on the continent).

But sometimes I find it just plain embarrassing to be naked and wet simultaneously, so instead I'll start the day by recording a song. And recording it quickly! Luxuries like tuning will be the first to go. Haste may well make waste, but it may also invent many new scales.

To inaugurate these vows I've paid homage to ol' Rockabilly songs like Sea Cruise. Only my song contains homo-erotic imagery. And it's called 'Rock-A-Willy'!

Let no one be in doubt of the seriousness in which I'm taking this. More tomorrow.


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